Scars
by Hive Malkavian
Summary: After Antartica, Gambit has to deal with moving on and coping with the stigma the others have attached to him. But moving on sometimes means looking back.


Scars

Disclaimer: X-Men and all it's associates and associated material does not belong to me. Sadly I own very little and make a very small wage and therefore can never really dream of owning anything relating to X-Men. How sad. I do have the comics though!

Authors Note: I wrote most of this sitting in school, during my free periods and what not. It's really just a small escape from my own life. My sad boring and pathetic life…

Acknowledgement: To Hopper and Alice, thanks for the beta read, even if you did miss things, (I'm glaring at you now). #They did this at like 3 am on a Friday, so they were probably drunk!#

'I tear my heart open,

I sew myself shut.

My weakness is that I care too much.

Our scars reminds us that the past is real.

I tear my heart open,

Just to feel.'

Papa Roach : Scars

Pain. A bright throbbing sensation, drumming through the blood, searing the veins. His was a pain they would never understand. His was a pain they would never achieve. No matter the heartbreak, no matter the wound, no matter the loss, they would never suffer the way he did.

They abandoned him. His love, his friends, his family, left him in the cold to die. Leaving him to whatever fate he found, in the icy desolate land of Antarctica.

But he survived; his mistress had spared him, but not without punishment. He had died there, his once carefree and compassionate soul lost among the snow and frost; bitterness had consumed him, inside and out, until he was nothing but a hollow shell. But the pain was still there. The pain of rejection, of abandonment, the loss of his former self had dealt a near fatal blow to his personality, causing an inevitable change to him, making him less; but some how more than he ever was.

That was when he realised the truth. His pain would never end. People would condemn him for a past he already regretted; he would feel the guilt he buried himself in, the guilt of others and his own. His past would forever tarnish his soul, leaving a black stain on his heart.

When he did eventually return home, nearly six months after the abandonment, there was mixed feelings. Most didn't want him there, wondered how he had survived the cold, wondered why he had come back. Others were glad, hopeful that things could be put behind them, progress further now and the past could be forgotten if not forgiven. He didn't see it that way. He was there, and they would have to deal with it. No matter what happened, he would come back, if only because he had no where to go. Xavier couldn't and wouldn't turn him away. There was too much riding on this, and to turn him away meant to become a hypocrite, to go against what the school stood for, and Charles Xavier would never do that. Anybody he thought he could save, he would try. To Xavier, Remy LeBeau still stood a chance at salvation, if only the others would allow him to try.

Upon his arrival back to the mansion, back to the team and back to the home they turned him away from, Remy was met with mixed greetings and hostility. Many had not forgotten what they assumed to be the truth of the Morlock Massacre. Storm was grieving her friends once more and could not bear to let the Cajun back into her life at that time. Rogue still felt betrayed and Warren still had his suspicions of the thief.

Jean had been the most welcoming; clinging to the Cajun in an embrace that showed he was missed by at least one person. Scott had showed his remorse over the handling of the entire situation by welcoming Remy back with open arms, stating that no matter his past he was an X-Man. Wolverine had also been welcoming. The Canadian and the Cajun having formed a close friendship, even if not displayed in the most conventional of ways, Logan had been glad for his survival of the cold death he had been left to.

That made three. Three people who were glad for his miraculous survival. For his return to the only place he knew as home.

And then it was four.

Talia Winter, a new member of the X-Men having arrived shortly before Remy's return, befriended Remy LeBeau on the grounds of evening the playing field. Her curiosity had led her to seek out stories from Rogue, Warren, Bobby, Jean, Hank and Logan. Eventually she came to the Cajun himself to see what his perception of the event was. She was too much like Logan to give the impression of actually caring, but too much like Jean to step back and do nothing.

It happened slowly for the Cajun, the realisation of who and what she truly was. She wasn't the orphaned runaway she claimed to be, wasn't the uneducated mutant with little control of her growing powers. Talia Winter, an enigma to everyone except Remy, the crystal eyed, white haired icy queen was far more suitable for Emma Frost's codename than her own. She was no 'Frost'. She was the Ice Queen; she was Shiva, mistress of the ice and cold. She was Remy's sole saviour. She offered comfort from the cold in the barren land that was Antarctica, even now, after the cold; she was still a shoulder to lean on. Admitting to Remy she was who he thought she was, she laid herself to him for support. Someone he could talk to about his feelings and how the white land had affected him. And Remy took her up on that offer. Exposing his soul to her, taking the opportunity to vent some of the hidden emotions from his turmoil. She was willing to open her mind to him, to share his pain and suffering, his empathy flowed through her. They were linked, much the same way that Scott and Jean were linked, through an emotional and telepathic bond. He had a place in her mind and she a place in his.

But everything became strained when Talia got caught up in the clutches of the Phoenix. The combined powers of fire and ice nearly destroyed her, but she pulled through that, only to face the X-Men.

In a battle with the Marauders, the Phoenix returned from the sun, intent on feeling human emotions again. The team tried to protect Jean, trying to stop the bird from taking another life, from destroying Jean and Scott.

But the Phoenix was determined.

_The Phoenix bird flew towards Jean, screeching wildly. The X-Men nearly froze; they knew what the Phoenix would do to Jean's mind, to the team. They knew they had to do whatever it took to stop the mystical bird._

_But fate intervened. _

_Sabertooth, while battling with Frost, dealt a savage kick to the female's stomach, forcing the girl into the Phoenix's path. The bird's cries intensified as the spirit slammed into the ice girl's body._

"_NON!" The cry came too late, Remy tried to get to Talia but was held back by Logan._

"_Its too late kid." The Phoenix had almost completely taken her hostages body over, the control of the owner dwindling and the birds power increasing. Phoenix's body of flames engulfed Talia; her usually crystal eyes were burning yellow and her pale perfect face expressionless._

_Remy's heart and gut clenched, fearing not only the damage she could do but also what action had to be taken to stop her._

"_X-Men, we have to stop the Phoenix, at all costs." Scott said over the comm, Logan looked down at Remy, the Cajun's inner battle of turmoil and pain obvious on his face._

"_Don't know if Gumbo'll be much help, Slim." Logan said, being the only other who knew fully about the Cajun and ice queen's relationship. Having found out from the Cajun himself and then the admission being ratified by the female afterwards._

"_Tell Gambit to pull it together," Scott said harshly._

"_How quick were you to try and stop Jean when she had the Phoenix?" Logan asked, loath to tell the whole team that it was Talia who was responsible for the Cajun's return to sanity and health after Antarctica. To tell Rogue that Remy had moved on from her cruel betrayal of his heart._

"_What? Why does this matter?" Logan growled but Scott continued, knowing full well Gambit could hear every word. "Gambit has to get his priorities straight. He's either part of the team or he's not."_

"_What about Talia?" Bobby's voice broke in, defending his fellow ice maiden._

"_Frost's fate can't be changed now. We can't handle another round with the Phoenix."_

"_Y' on your own Cyke." Remy said quietly. "I can't kill her. She's the reason I'm alive." Close to an admission of their past but still an evasion of the truth._

_Talia's cry of pain interrupted the discussion, the flames turning blue then disappearing completely._

"_Remy?" Crystal blue searched out demonic red, ignoring each of the Marauders and Jean's frightened gaze, Scott rushing to stand beside his wife._

"_You want her dead? I can do that." Sabertooth leaped towards Talia, but was fired against a wall in a burst of blue flame._

"_I will not be stopped! I am Phoenix!" The flames of the bird reappeared, Talia's own black and sky blue uniform turning to the green and yellow of the Phoenix's. Scott was ready to blast the mutant, but Jean's hands stopped him._

"_We cannot kill her." She said softly, her eyes brimming with tears._

"_She needs to be stopped," Scott faltered slightly, "you remember what happened the last time. What about the Shi'ar?" Scott seemed to need someone to agree with him, to tell him he was doing the right thing._

"_But she's fighting it." Jean said, a hand caressing the side of her husband's face. "How would you feel if I had been killed? How would you handle someone telling you to kill me? To help kill me?" Jean was trying to be comforting and not reproachful, but it was hard to understand how he could think this way._

_The team had now regrouped with Jean and Scott, weary eyes on Remy, who now looked as emotionally dead as when he returned from Antarctica. Scott spared a glance at the Cajun, still not grasping the subtle hints from Jean and Logan. _

_He loves her. A true and pure love, built on friendship and trust. He loves her the way you love me. Scott tried to understand, how could Gambit love someone who wasn't Rogue? Ever since his arrival it had been Rogue who held his interest. How could things change so suddenly? It didn't. Rogue left him, he tried to move on and fell in love again in doing so. Jean told Scott softly through their link. _

"_We're going to have to stop the Phoenix," Scott said, the tension nearly gripping his throat, "without causing too much harm to Frost." Scott felt Gambit's relief flood over him, actually making him feel more powerful. "Let's be careful. She's still powerful."_

_She was powerful. Powerful enough to stop every team effort made, every team attempt to stop her._

"_We can't do a thing against it as a group." Logan said, dusting himself off after Phoenix's brutal attack that sent them all in every which direction._

"_Y' t'ink we could stop her individually?" Remy asked while helping Storm stand._

"_It may work. If we all attack as single powers at the same time, we may confuse her enough to weaken her defence." The team seemed to understand the logic and agree making the possibility of success a little better._

_Cyclops blasted, Iceman froze, Storm sent gale winds and lightening, Rogue punched, Angel threw metal daggers from his wings, Wolverine attempted to get close enough for a physical attack and Jean sent objects hurling at the form. Phoenix's counter was to engulf them all in flame, close to incinerating them. Until Gambit's bo-staff cracked the back of her head. The flame disappeared, each X-Man stunned by the sudden change. Gambit stood with the unconscious form of Talia in his arms, her features and uniform once more her own._

"_Y' know how t' block her powers for now?" He asked, looking between Jean and Scott._

"_Hank has some modified collars at the mansion." Scott said, getting the team rounded up. They piled onto the Blackbird and got ready for takeoff. Gambit sat in the back with Talia on a medical bed, her hand in his._

_It had been during the flight when crystal eyes fluttered open, training their gaze direction on Remy's. His own demonic eyes met her and to all the world they were silent. Bobby, Scott and Ororo watched, not understanding why they didn't speak. Then Remy got up, climbed onto the bed and Talia buried her head into his chest, clutching tightly to his coat while he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head lightly. Logan and Jean were the only two unfazed by the show of affection._

_No one said a word until Talia screamed out in pain, her voice changing between her own and the screeching of the bird. Remy did not move, holding her closely and absorbing what he could of her pain._

"_What is happening to her?" Storm had asked, frightened for the young mutant in pain. They could do little for her until they reached the mansion, no one knowing how to help her anymore than Remy already was._

They hadn't known it at the time, but Talia's control of ice and the Phoenix's of fire was setting off an adverse reaction within Talia's body. She was being destroyed by the Phoenix while destroying the Phoenix herself.

Hank had been able to collar Talia, effectively stopping the destruction of her life force, Jean had then locked the Phoenix in Talia's mind, sealing the entity and power of the Phoenix within the young ice mistress. But Jean had been unable to stop the projection of Talia's true self, the projection of her identity, her past and her link to Gambit.

Everyone in the room; Scott, Logan, Warren, Ororo, Rogue, Bobby, Hank and Charles, learnt who Talia truly was.

It was clear Talia hadn't wanted them to know, but Remy's hand clutching her own, showing his support and care for her, seemed to soothe and calm her.

Jean had sensed the strong bond, the duel empathic-telepathic link. She just didn't know whose telepathy and whose empathy made up the link. Warren, Rogue and Bobby had been angry, learning of Talia's true identity left them questioning things, of both the female and of Remy. Logan had known for a while, if not surely then had guessed. The Wolverine picking up the small details of their actions and reactions to one another and coming to the correct conclusion. Charles did not say anything. He did not reprimand either for concealing the information and did not ask for any further details. The others however did.

"Why did you lie?" Bobby asked, worried that there were more lies to come.

"We didn't." Talia answered stonily, her cold nature coming through. "Not once did we deny not knowing each other before meeting here. Remy's stated many times that I saved his sanity and life." And she was right, to the fullest extent possible.

"She's correct. We never once asked if they knew each other before Remy came home." Jean said, gaining a grateful smile from Ororo. Jean understood the weather witches need to defend Remy. No matter what the situation currently, she did not want to lose her brother again.

"What about him? He never told us how he survived." Warren shot out, still hostile towards the Cajun thief.

"Y' never asked. None of y' seemed to care, for different reasons, but y' never bothered t' ask anyway." Remy replied, looking up from the frail form of Talia in the hospital bed. Jean could tell she was exhausted.

"Talia, are you sure you're alright?" Crystal blue eyes twinkled lightly at her.

"Yes, I just need some rest." She said wearily. Scott started to usher people out of the med lab. "Remy." The Cajun stopped, glancing back at the bed, everyone else halting in their departure of the room. "Stay with me?" Jean knew that Talia could've just asked mentally, without letting the others hear, but it was a way to stake her claim. Remy looked at Rogue, who was watching both of them, before walking back to Talia.

"Oui." And the claim was returned. This meant the end of Remy and Rogue, and Jean could see that Rogue saw it. Watching Talia relax into Remy's embrace, Jean was glad. Perhaps now Remy would finally find the love he deserved, and maybe be happy.

End.

I think.


End file.
